Great Depression

If recent news were to be believed, we’re in for some very dire times.

Since World War II, says the news, the present economic situation in America has been the worst. If things won’t do well for the coming days, we’re heading for a recession, if not Great Depression.

I was born in the year 1983, and although the last Great Depression was seen and felt in the years 1930 to 1939, the information I read from novels, books, movies, and Internet that tackle Great Depression is reason enough to scare the hell out of me.

Poverty scares me shitless. So is hunger, unemployment, hopelessness, and helplessness. The knowledge that perhaps on the coming months jobs are scarce, prices are high, and political instability is something you have to deal with every waking moment worries me. Because there’s nothing funny about poverty albeit Filipinos are known to be cherry in spite of living in a hellhole.

And certainly there’s nothing great about waking up every morning, wondering what to eat come breakfast, lunch, and dinner, or if should you be having lunch at all.

I know. I’ve been acting like a worry-wart. You have to understand, I’ve been to a similar hellhole in the past and going back is something I couldn’t forgive myself should it ever happen.

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There’s another Great Depression that happens around us. It happens when real friends are scarce, future is bleak, personal and family life is in turmoil.

But this, I’m afraid, is another story best to be told for another post.

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I Forget, I Remember

I’m forgetful. That I can freely admit. I’m forgetful of things that don’t matter to me. I forget events that aren’t special to me. I forget names, faces, figures, colors, and things I’m not so keen about and not so worth remembering.

But I can remember. I can remember beautiful or ugly memories. I can remember happiness and sadness vividly like watching a familiar movie.

I can remember words spoken to me – be that beautiful or ugly, striking or bland, uplifting or nasty. So long those words stir my soul, tinker my cosmos, or stab my heart.

Yes, I remember.

I remember what you said to me; those scathing words. Vividly. Verbatim. But I pretend not to. Because I promised myself to let it pass.

For now. Until this thing is over.

Conversation

Me: What is your name?

Sam: My nem ish Menzhur Samon Peyno!

Me: Wow! Very Good! How old are you?

Sam:  My nem ish Menzhur Samon Peeeyno!

Gaining, Losing

Years might have separated us, but the moment we met again we hit off just as instantly. I was glad to see again those faces I’d grown to love. They were the people I shared passion with – to write. And still is, I hope.

You see, gaining back friends fortifies the meaning of the phrase “what a wonderful world.”

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Losing, on the other hand, is entirely different matter. While gaining gives you life, losing is losing it. It’s like death. A very sad thing. No matter how you try to save it, it just doesn’t breathe back to life. Because it is already dead.
One can only let go, and mourn.

I am mourning.

Tootache and Love

My mom couldn’t put herself to sleep, her tooth aches.

In the living room, she’s catankerous; she thrashes about like a cat gone crazy. My Papa and I can’t do anything but watch her in sheer agony.

She’s totally helpless, you see.  My mom already took a pain reliever, and an antibiotic but the pain, she hisses, didn’t subside. And so every one minute or so, she yelps in pain, swears to kill herself, and runs to the sink to mouthwash.

I’ve had my experiences with toothache when I still was a stubborn kid, so I feel for my mom’s suffering completely.

Having a toothache is hellish. The pain sings like your gums were drilled with a sharp pointed object in a slow agonizing fashion; it electrocutes your whole body, consuming all your energy and sanity. True, having a bad case of tootache makes everyone suicidal.

Helpless that I am, I just can’t bring myself to leave her to sleep. I know just by being there would give her strength far stronger than physical. Presence does count. The knowledge that we are one with her would give her additional strength to endure the pain.

Yes, if there’s one thing that is powerful and enduring,  stronger and stubborn than toothache, or every imaginable pain, it’s love.